Meteghan My Dear
Seven years ago I was living in a fishing village on the south east coast of Nova Scotia. I had decided to move there after accepting a job at a local university. I was my first “real” job in my field of work.
I had a house, open concept, with a loft style bedroom on a second floor, high ceilings, and windows from top to bottom looking out into the ocean. During crab season, I would get up in the morning to watch the fishing boats head out to sea.
It was amazing.
But I was alone.
I spent nights and days just thinking of how I was going to get back home.
Now I live in a condo in downtown Montreal. My view in the morning is the Hispanic kids that live in the building in the back of mine or the hooker asking me if I want some while I’m taking my dog out for her morning walk.
I’m older today, probably a bit brighter I like to think. And when I think of what life would have been had I decided to stay in that small rural community, it makes me smile.
I probably would have bought my own house by now. Something old, with a big yard or an ocean front. I’d probably have two dogs. One named Halifax and the other one Poppy.
I’d probably still host my radio show and go for ice cream on warm summer nights.
I’d probably still get drunk on dark winter nights and swear at the moon while standing outside in my underwear and winter boots.
It would be different, I’d be different for sure. I don’t think I’d mind that.
I was sitting at a bar, a bar that I used to go to when I was somewhere else. I was sitting at that bar, that bar that I keep recommending to everyone who goes to that place I used to be at. I was sitting there and I asked myself I wasn’t here more often. I was sitting at that bar and I realized I wasn’t even in my own city but I felt like I was at home. I was sitting at that bar and I noticed all the pictures, noticed who was sitting at the bar with me and I thought to myself, I should sit here more often. This is me. This is me and I like this me. It’s a me who feels at home, in this other city which isn’t mine.
Someone asked me today why I had taken the decisions I had taken over the past months. I said the answer was simple, I listened to myself. But I let my emotions take over too much over my logic and that’s how things fucked up. The right decision is one that balances all aspects.
That meant I had to change my life around.
Am I better off today ? I like to think so.
Is she better off too ? Most surely.
Is Penny doing well ? Yep, she’s happy.
The important thing is the Summer is just around the corner.